Marblehead Counseling Center Offers Tips for Surviving College Drop Off 

MARBLEHEAD – Summer is nearing the half-way mark, but for families sending a child off to college for the first time, the end feels very near. Your teen may seem blasé about leaving, but chances are there is at least some anxiety about navigating a new place, meeting new people, and doing well in new classes. Meanwhile, daily parenting duties for mom and dad are disappearing, often leaving parents feeling equal parts excited, grief-stricken and confused about how to fill up their normally jam-packed schedules.  

According to Gregg Mulford, LMHC Clinical Supervisor at Marblehead Counseling Center (MCC), who has counseled families and individuals for the past 35 years, when a child goes to college, it’s a period of both redefining the overall family dynamic and reinvention by the individuals within it, and it can be tough for everyone.  

“It’s not surprising that parents and teens often feel insecure and overwhelmed,” he says. A child’s whole identity can be shaken during the transition to college as they are forced to redefine themselves without familiar peers or social structures they know, Mulford notes. “If they already have feelings of insecurity or inadequacy, these can be amplified. And although empty nest syndrome is not considered a clinical disorder or diagnosis, it is a real moment of transition for parents that can bring about anxiety, depression, fear for a child’s mental and physical health while far away, and emotional ambivalence about newfound freedoms with the kids out of the house. “In addition,” Mulford says, “when parental control starts shifting away from mom and dad, it can feel very similar to rejection.” 

Although your roles may be changing, Mulford says your college student still needs you to be a touchpoint at a time that can be very challenging. One out of two college students reports feeling lonely on campus, according to Mental Health in College: What Research Tells Us About Supporting Students. The 2025 National College Health Assessment found one out of three had received psychological or mental health services within a 12-month period. And, about 45% binge drink in order to cope with stress. Help your child understand that these feelings are not unusual, and remind them of other times when they’ve successfully worked through stress or loneliness.  

Sarah Flatley, former Assistant Dean of Students at Harvard University, a Residential Advisor at Harvard for six years and President of FlatleyWheaton Educational Consultants, says her biggest piece of advice to parents is to start talking to kids now. “Your goal in sending your child to college is to help them transition to being a capable adult, able to manage their own lives and solve their own problems,” Flatley says. “Colleges are filled with trained professionals who can help your young adult thrive. It’s a pretty safe place to learn these skills.” She says kindergarten and college drop-off are two of parenting’s most difficult moments, but it’s really important to take a step back and give your student a chance to gain confidence that they can do it on their own.  

“Parents are most useful when they help kids prepare for issues beforehand,” she believes, and step one is having an open discussion about communication expectations. Every family will have a different answer, but if mom is expecting nightly phone calls and junior is good with a once-a-week text, you’ll need to come up with a plan. She says it’s also great to brainstorm solutions to issues that might arise, such as a disagreement over a grade or a problem with a roommate. “Role playing or practicing what to say can be helpful,” Flatley says. College schedules typically include big chunks of unscheduled time, and kids need to be prepped for it. “They’re going to have to figure out a system to manage their time and responsibilities and how to structure completing their academic work, while also learning to do laundry and pick up after themselves. Summer is a good time to practice or try out time management systems.” 

Kids who are trying to redefine themselves while figuring out their new environment might be too embarrassed to say they need help, Mulford notes, and often imagine they’re the only ones having a tough time.  “Talk to your kids before they leave home about becoming overwhelmed. Strategizeabout finding support on campus if they need it, staying connected when they’re feeling lonely, and ways to successfully meet others.” National Institutes of Health research has alerted colleges to a growing mental health crisis on colleges around the world, and the upside is campuses are working hard on new mental health offerings to help students cope. Peer mentoring, mental health course offerings, anti-stress programs, and other innovative ways to support students are increasingly popular.   

Flatley says that statistically, students who take part in extracurricular activities are happier at school. Encourage your child to join a wide variety atfirst in order to find friends and activities they like, with the understanding that they might try new things that won’t be a good fit. Check out the school website for available clubs, public service and volunteer activities. Remind your kids that there are more passive ways to connect on campus, as well, such as going to the gym or library, taking a run on campus, reading in the quad or going to the dining common.   

Joining activities and making an effort to be around people will help stave off loneliness, but if you suspect your child might really struggle, Mulfordsays you and your child might decide to speak to a therapist before they leave for school. “Talking with a mental health professional about their anxiety and brainstorming how to manage can be really beneficial,” he says. “You might even set up some check-in therapy sessions over Zoom if that would ease your freshman’s mind.”  Mulford says it’s normal for upheaval to cause stress for parents and kids, even teens who are already pretty self-sufficient. Teens who suffer from depression or anxiety disorders will require a different level of emotional support, and he suggests checking out campus resources prior to departure, so your teen is armed with information should they feel they need it. “This is where being proactive, talking about concerns, and brainstorming solutions can make a real difference,” Mulford believes.  

Keep in mind, though, the rules about your kids’ school records are about to change. Parents are often shocked to find that under FERPA, the Federal Educational Rights and Privacy Act, your student’s academic, disciplinary and health and medical records transfer to your adult (over 18) child. Colleges do not generally share grades or attendance unless your child has signed a waiver, nor are colleges required to inform you about alcohol or controlled substance violations. They also cannot legally share medical history, diagnoses or records, including mental health status. Students and parents should discuss these privacy issues ahead of time, and why and when a parent might need or want access. If comfortable, students can opt to sign FERPA waivers for specific records they will allow their parents to access.  

“You’ve gotten your kids to college, which is such an accomplishment,” Mulford says. “We know that there are going to be bumps and struggles, but the more you see your role as believing they can do it and supporting their efforts, the better it will be for you both in the long run.” 

About Marblehead Counseling Center (MCC) 

In 1969, the need for services for substance abuse and mental health problems such as depression and family upheaval were especially pressing. In response, a group of Marblehead residents founded Marblehead Counseling Center to provide direct services to individuals and families and to address community needs. Today, MCC improves the quality of life for individuals and families in Marblehead, Swampscott and other North Shore communities by providing a high-quality, local source of mental health and family support. 

MCC is a registered Massachusetts 501(c)3 non-profit. Individuals, families, and businesses may support the work of Marblehead Counseling Center by making a tax-deductible contribution.  

For additional information on MCC, a calendar of events, volunteer opportunities and how to donate, please visit www.MarbleheadCounseling.org.  

 Resources: 

FlatleyWheaton Educational Consulting 

Depression and Anxiety among College Students 

Psychology Today: Empty Nest Syndrome  

College Mental Health Toolkit: The Mental Health Coalition  

ACHA: National College Health Assessment 

Harvard EDU: Why Half of College Students Feel Alone and How to Fix It  

United Healthcare Young Adult and College Student Behavioral Health Report, 2026. 

Addressing Mental Health in University Students: A Call for Action 

Grown and Flown: Executive Function Skills to Learn Before College 

Tips to Help Your Child Transition to College 

• Remember, your goal is to help your child make this last transition into adulthood. Don’t try and solve their problems for them. Brainstorm, role play, talk through scenarios that might be difficult, but don’t step in to do it for them. Colleges have trained professionals whose job it is to help your child make a healthy, happy transition. 

• Encourage your child to get involved in something – statistically students say they are happier when they have extracurricular activities at school. Many options might be unfamiliar. Encourage them to try something new – it doesn’t have to be a lifelong commitment.  

• Remind your student to take care of themselves physically. Your child is almost certain to get sick in the first few weeks of school, as they won’t be eating right, sleeping well, and they’ll be exposed to many new people. Send a care package of over the counter medicines in their luggage. Encourage them to go to the gym, take a walk or take an exercise class. 

• Talk to your child about the transition you will both be making when they leave. Be sure they know that it is ok to feel overwhelmed as they adjust to their new life away from home, and remind them that you are feeling some anxiety, too. It’s natural.  

• Listen to your child and encourage them to talk about the stress they are feeling. If you get a call 11 at night from a weeping child, try and put it into context. Are they just having a moment where they are exhausted and overwhelmed?  

• Encourage them to get out of their dorm room. Don’t forget the more ‘passive’ activities that connect people: going to the library, the gym, reading in the quad, or going to the dining hall. Most colleges also have loads of opportunities for public service, and most don’t require signing up beforehand. 

• Find small ways to connect, through Zoom calls or small care packages or cards, or a visit if you are able and if you are needed. 

• Educate yourself about the places your child can go for help, such as on-campus support groups or counseling centers. If necessary, get a referral to a nearby mental help therapist if there are no available resources at your child’s school. Plan tele-health sessions with a therapist at home if it seems advisable. 

 The Marblehead Counseling Center is open Monday through Friday, 8:30 AM to 5 PM at 66 Clifton Ave in Marblehead, MA 01945. 

If you or someone you love could use support, we’re here for you. Book an appointment at marbleheadcounseling.org or call (781) 631-8273.